Updated: Apr 1
Read about how I get through some of those rough days while raising a toddler, and how I manage to focus on the small wins.
My response to the phrase, "it gets easier" would be a quiet chuckle to myself. I just might possibly laugh out loud without meaning to. I find it funny because I remember hearing it even from the first moments of pregnancy. I felt so tired and nauseous all the time and people would say, "just wait until the second trimester. It will get easier." And then by the end of pregnancy life became so uncomfortable and hard that I just wished for baby to come out of me as soon as possible. Once the baby was born and we were hardly sleeping at night life became even more difficult. My husband worked long hours and I found myself become the main caretaker for our baby with very little to no help. (Which I was fine with and what I had expected to do). The people around me could see that I was struggling and would try to provide advice and comfort letting me know that "it gets easier."
But what does that even mean?? Maybe it's something we are all in the habit of saying without realizing just WHAT we are saying.
I honestly think having a child creates the exact opposite affect. So far I only have one and each day I find myself realizing how much harder things are actually getting. For me, the newborn stage was simple. Cries could easily be managed by doing a checklist of things. Perhaps it was time for feeding, changing a diaper, or snuggles of comfort to fall asleep. Although I wouldn't say it was easy to have a baby (in fact I found it absolutely exhausting) I wouldn't say things have gotten easier as he has grown. Of course every stage has it's challenges but as my child develops and becomes his own person our relationship has become more complicated as well. Cries are not as easily soothed, and his need for independence meshed with lack of understanding about the world becomes completely overwhelming for me at times. EVERY DAY IS A BATTLE. And it feels like a never ending cycle of uncontrollable tantrums, repetitive reminders, and constant mood swings. It's enough to make any mom feel completely alone and emotionally drained.